All right, let's get this over with since I've managed to let it go unaddressed for eons. The premise is quite simple, something you have all undoubtedly experienced in your lifetimes...
The look-alike.
That is, when a third party believes he/she has uncovered a profound resemblance between your own sad appearance and that of a better-known entity. Sometimes, but not always, this entity is that of a celebrity (OMG!).
Relax, because more times than not, this is an unglamorous revelation. In fact, it can be downright humiliating when this can of worms is opened up in the presence of other people - people who you might not necessarily know - but who are fully capable of comparing your physicality to said public entity. And they're also capable of swooning, laughing or looking mighty perplexed, which are the only three reactions that are possible when a look-alike scenario presents itself.
So enter yours truly and his look-alike story.
Now, the people I know seem to experience the exact opposite of what I continue to experience. They are the dashing, beautiful, memorable, handsome, sultry and sexy actors and actresses who sell tickets, populate marquees and provide lesser people with the necessary motivation to do things like, say, work out.
Then there is what I experience.
What on earth could be possibly be worse than being mistaken for (and/or even remotely resembling in any way, shape or form) Rick Moranis?
"Rick... Moranis?" you cringe. "Lord, probably nothing is worse than that!"
Yes, on several isolated occasions, separate, independent factions have each compared my mug to the likes of the Canadian-born beau who broke millions and millions of hearts through his paternal roles in blockbuster, ahem, "films" like: "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids"; "Honey, I Blew Up the Kid"; "Honey, We Shrunk Ourselves"; and "Honey, I Shrunk the Audience." (What a franchise.)
I am still shocked and dismayed that anyone managed to put this together, because I, myself - who should be the most acclimated with my own unsightliness, right? - did not come to this conclusion before people who are not me. So I Googled "Rick Moranis" and confirmed my fear - right there, practically the first result, was an image of Rick Moranis that looked more like me than him! Aw, are you kidding me?! Come on!
The portrait was/is basically one of my high-school yearbook photos with Rick's name under it. And with glasses added. Horrific, horrific stuff.
No, I will not post any Moranis-centric images at this moment.
© mundane affair
- mundane affair
- Chicago, IL, United States
- Hark, ye children. An ex-kid or former infant – a fully grown seed. White as milk and 2 percent overrated. Loves writing, loathes reading (only kidding) and doesn’t mind learning a thing or two. Prone to self-contradiction, self-defamation and self-mutilation, but not self-strangulation. Thinks a lot, or a little, depending on subject matter, and wishes he was a mixture of Lester Bangs, whoever played Amélie in "Amélie," Iceland and a werewolf. Did not know the 12 months or their order until grade 10, and still has no idea how many days are in each. Forgets names, birthdays, relatives and holidays, and was once a “C” geography student. Tired, in general, finding little or no motivation to wake up each day. Ate ice cream from cartons on a daily basis for three months straight (mostly in the evenings), and gained weight after it was all over. Is no longer fond of ice cream.
1 comment:
I think it's just the mouth. And maybe the jawline. You only hold resemblance to Rick Moranis's primary means of communication. I think it's safe to say you're upstaging his use of such features. I mean that as a compliment, but lets (rick moranis's) face it, that isn't exactly hard to do. You should construct an elaborate aparatus and drift yourself about over a patch of grass, your weight matched by a 27'' tv, just to fuck with people. They'll be like shit dude... he's at it again. Watch your step!
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