Black Towels = the Devil's Handiwork

I think this is the worst product ever made, not to mention indisputable evidence that an evil axis exists. Have you ever had these, black towels? I am a guy and don't really know about or am cognizant of things like this, but black towels shed, I guess? I consider this to not be my fault - how was I supposed to know? I saw no label on them, otherwise I would not have bought the shedding kind.

I basically showered and used them for the first time and didn't really pay too much attention, but upon getting out and glancing in the mirror I noticed I looked like a caveman, but with black hair where they have brown. Or like a giant black bear. Or a fuzzy gorilla. Those are better comparisons than a caveman who has black hair. I am one of those in the mornings now. I even get to dust myself off after showering, or else I show up to work with black cobwebs all over my face.

I've even washed these stupid things several times over, but to no avail. They just keep shedding, crop dusting the white tiles until my bathroom has this black, dusty film thing going on where the crap is everywhere and I try to clean it up but it's no use because, hey, guess what, I have to shower tomorrow as well and it's just going to happen again and again, so... I really regret this purchase. What I do try to do though is not write a strongly worded letter to the manufacturer or take them back to the store or burn them or throw them away but clean the shower while I'm in there using it. Yeah. I use my right foot which must look kinda funny because, well, for starters I look kinda funny without clothes but then you put me in there with my wet foot and it's even funnier I think. So the foot. My (right) foot is how I clean the pollinated shower. I get it nice and wet and kinda use it like a shammy or a scrub on the furry tub, gathering all the black tufts so that they're clinging to my right foot, usually to the bottom of it, and when I've assembled enough of it or until I'm satisfied I rinse it all off and it goes away down the drain.

I've been doing this for about four weeks now.

Bottom line: please do not buy black towels. I'm not sure why they even make these things, because who else is buying them besides me?

Geeze, black towels.


casacaudill said...

This also happens with some brands - namely the Charter Club variety that can be purchased at Macy's - in a lovely navy blue color. I know this because when the huzbin and I got married someone bought us something ridiculous like 30 navy blue towels ... and they all shed. For a year. I'll tell you what someone told me - wash them often in hot water and use plenty of fabric softener. I don't know if it was that treatment or time, but here I am several years later without the fuzz.

mundane affair said...

great. sounds like i have a lot of waiting ahead of me... thanks, becky.