Makeout Session From Mars

Last night, 300 people and I witnessed the makeout session to end all makeout sessions.

At the Do Division Street Festival, somewhere among the hipsters, scenesters, vendors, musicians, mommies, daddies, strollered children, tethered canines and Ted Leo and the Pharmacists show that populated the busy block, two women started going at it like it was nobody's business. It was hard not to notice this public display of, um, affection, since the women were breaking through such large barriers. Literally: they knocked over an orange "ROAD CLOSED"obstruction like it was a house of cards, thus moving their engagement to the pavement.

Intense stuff for a Sunday.

I'm still not sure If I've ever seen something like this. Probably not. I was standing against the barrier when I noticed them running toward it, and me. The one woman turned and pushed the other one up against it and they started going to town on each other's lips. We're talking something from the movies, people - from "Ghost" or something - with the hiking of the leg and eyes rolling back into the head and all, except replace Patrick Swayze with a lesbian lover.

I questioned their sobriety, but certainly not their passion. Was this beautiful? Was this sloppy? What on earth was happening here? Hath "Candid Camera" been reincarnated? It definitely wasn't as composed or as touching as "Ghost," but I couldn't deny their conviction. And then they knocked over the barrier. This is when the public's attention was drawn from the concert to the makeout soirée, and even the yellow lab in front of me raised its ears and titled its head toward the rumbling couple. It was like one of those cartoon fights, illustrated as a tumbling tornado in all of its fury and tarnation, leaving the characters bruised and gasping for air upon finish. Something was in the air that night, and it took these two women by surprise. (I don't know this feeling.)

Some parents left abhorred. Drunk men cheered and took pictures. Sober men's girlfriends hit them on the arms. I was somewhere in the progressive mingling, and it occurred to me that spring had finally arrived.